Fluttering for Freedom

Sunday night at 2am, I was awakened to an odd ruffling and fluttering noise. I thought at first the dogs were up and shaking their beds between their teeth, having a little play time. Then I thought maybe they were just scratching and swirling their collars around their necks, as we have had a battle with flees. I would think I was drifting back to sleep and I would hear the sound again. What in the world? I finally realized the noise was not coming from the dog's room. It was coming from the kitchen. I thought oh no I hope there isn't a rodent in my kitchen. I slowly walked into the kitchen and flipped the light on quickly. As I did a bird begins to fly in front of me and across the kitchen. Obviously it startled me and I tried to figure out a plan to get it out of the house. My brain wasn't fully awake and I just wanted to sleep. I didn't know how in the world to get it out and for some reason I was scared every time it decided to fly around. What I did notice was the bird was tired and weary. A few times it landed in the window seal of our breakfast area desperately looking to escape it's captivity. It was so tired from trying to figure out how to get through the glass it would just lay there with it's wings sprawled out devastated from the severe frantic impulse to be free. After a few minutes of watching and not knowing how to intervene I woke up Marc. He wasn't thrilled and together we devised a plan and was able to sweep the bird right out the window.

I tossed and turned trying to get back to sleep and the Lord was on me. He said to me there was application here but all I wanted to do was SLEEP. After finally getting to sleep, I struggled to get out of bed at 6am to get kids ready for school. The Lord was still whispering, application.

Mondays are grocery days at our house. It is time to restock the pantry for the week. I was busy with my list in hand and my head down going through each isle at the ever dreaded WalMart. I looked up and a women approached me with a line of "had I tried this certain product and did I want a catalogue". I was caught off guard a bit as I was in my zone. As I was turning the corner to the next isle the Lord whispered to me "what would life be like if everyone were so bold and would speak of ME like they spoke of their favorite product, or their favorite hobby, favorite job, or favorite anything for that matter? Would there be any tired people around desperately trying to free themselves from captivity or would their longing be fulfilled due to the numerous amount of open mouths proclaiming the Good News? Would they know of the freedom they have in Me because of the boldness of someones love for their Savior?"

Ouch! So many times I walk through my day with my head down not looking to share my Jesus with that desperate soul, that frantic bird searching for freedom. I am too busy to share my favorite with someone because I am on a grocery mission...a family to feed, and sleep to be had. 

I wonder...Is it because money isn't involved? You know we all do strange things when money is a factor. Is it from fear of rejection? Is it that we aren't madly in love with our maker? Is it because we don't want to look silly in the middle of a store or parking lot or odd place where most people don't share the Lord? Why don't we share the most precious gift ever with all we come in contact with? Why it is we won't help those little birds find freedom?  Actually, what we as Christians have to offer is more valuable than money. It is a matter of life and death. It is a matter of eternity.

Encouraging you today to keep your head up.  Listen for the fluttering around you and let the Lord lead you to be bold for the ones that need to be set free by His amazing grace.  There are many fluttering for freedom.

Every Soul Matters!

It's Friday! But Sundays comin'!

I wasn't surprised when I had gotten the call from my mom Friday morning that my granddad had gone to be with the Lord. The day before I had stopped by to visit him at the nursing home. It has been a long last three months for him. He has been very ill and had been put in hospice care in January. At that time he declared he would beat the doctors odds of a couple of weeks, and that he did! I am not sure if I have ever seen such a will for life. His health over the last several years has been quiet crazy and it is if he had nine lives and just keeps coming back for more. In my eyes I always thought what does he have to come back to? He can't play golf or bridge anymore, two of the things he loved the most. His wife had passed a few years before and most of his friends are no longer living as he just turned 89 in January. So Lord, why do you tarry with this man's life? Why must you keep him here with no quality of life? Why should he have to suffer through his last few years on this earth? Why do we have to watch this happen? God answered those questions to me in a way I didn't quiet expect.

I can tell you over the last six months to a year God has been stirring all kinds of newness about our relationship. He has turned my world upside down and made me think out of the box and get out of my boat. Have I enjoyed that? Well, in a weird way...yes! I haven't loved the hard parts but I have loved being able to know my Savior more!

My Wednesday night Bible study group decided to study James around Christmas. We began our study and God began sifting away more of my selfishness, more of the things of "me" that were not needed. It seems He has to do that non-stop. We didn't get far into our study and God was already revealing to me my calloused view in taking care of my granddad and reiterating the burden I had for children with no families.
James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
It was almost a slap in the face as to say 'Kim, you have so not loved the least of these, including your granddad'. Let me just say that hurt! That hurt bad! I will be honest and say my point of view has always been that my stomach couldn't handle the odor and sights of nursing homes or the elderly, or not knowing what to say or how to care for someone that can't get up and go. How shallow am I?? The Lord showed me real quick my selfishness. I repented and asked for the Lord to forgive me and give me opportunity to serve my granddad. God granted that prayer.

Although I had also prayed for the Lord to come quickly for my granddad since he was so sick and so helpless. Obviously that request did not ring true until good Friday. And on the day before as I sat with my granddad as he lay curled into a ball not moving, not saying a word, I put my hands upon him (rubbing his back as I found in the previous months he loved) and cried out for the Lord to end his battle. I know the Lord had not answered my request several months before because he knew I needed to learn something. He knew I needed to learn what it was like to unselfishly care for someone besides those right around me. He knew I needed to see someone else's need for time, for a gentle back rub, a simple haircut, a good teeth brushing, a lotion rub to a dry frail body, or yummy Hershey kisses and a chocolate milkshake to taste buds that were barely left.  Those simple things could make a dying man's day. Oh Lord forgive me as I was too selfish to see if before.

That Friday as I went to pick up my son from a sleepover I began to share the news with him. His first words were so very sweet and so comforting. He said, "Mom, the best part is grandpa died the same day as Jesus." Oh the perspective of a child to make all things good. Such comfort in knowing he is now alive with Christ.

So after getting my son in the car and sharing with him we drive through the Sonic drive through to grab something to drink.  Now, this has been the particular Sonic that the last few times we have been to we have been able to meet the need of the homeless and feed them.  As I looked around and I didn't see anyone in need.  I said to God, 'where are they'?  We drove on to meet my mom as she was gearing up for making funeral preparations and trying to get things in order.  My son hopped out of the car and got in hers and as I looked up I saw a drunk and dirty black man stumbling toward my car.  It startled me.  I shook my head to him as to tell him to go away.  Then I thought, what am I doing???  I just asked God where were they?  I watched my mom, just as startled as I was, give the man a few dollars and we drove on.  As I drove away I looked in my rear view mirror looking for this man that had appeared out of no where and I didn't see him.  I was upset with myself.

Here I felt like I had just learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life watching my granddad die and the Lord so graciously giving me opportunity to care for him as best I could.  Then I had asked God where are the needy?  He supplies, and I retreat.  Now, don't get me wrong I believe God gave us all a brain and for us to be cautious and safe but at the same time if the Lord answers our request, will He not also protect us and provide for us as we carry out that task?  Yes!  He will!  When God calls, He will equip!  This was yet another lesson that I am learning.

Every soul is important!!!!!  Everyone matters!!!  Red and yellow, black and white they are precious in His sight!  Jesus loves all the children of the world.  We are his children!  Each one of us has needs.  Each one of us needs love.  Each one of us needs to be cared for.  Each one of us needs to know that they matter to someone.  Whether they are your neighbor, a stranger, homeless, a drunk, Hispanic, white, old, or young each soul matters for eternity!!  No one is too far gone from God's love!!

So as I reflect on the Easter weekend I am sad but happy.  Sad for a sweet life lost, my granddad.  Sad that an innocent man had to die in the place of my wretched sinful self.  Sad that a poor black man may not know the Lord because I was too scared and didn't trust God enough to provide for me.  BUT Sunday came and I am rejoicing that my granddad is now in the presence of the King. Sunday came and my Savior LIVES!! And because of His great sacrifice I now am forgiven and have eternal life through Him!  Sunday came and I now have opportunity to pray for that homeless man to know the Lord or for our paths to cross again. What a sweet Sunday it was!!

Where are you today?  Who do you know you need to care for?  Is God calling you to care for the homeless?  Is He calling you to love on the less fortunate?  Is He calling you to love those that may not love you back?  Is He calling you to minister to, to care for, or maybe even adopt the orphans and the widows?  What more is He requiring of you today?  If we are growing in Him, He will always be requiring more of us.  Did you catch that?... Our salvation doesn't end with a prayer.  We must be continually growing, other wise we are continually falling away.  Encouraging you that there is NO better place to be than walking with Him!  Every soul matters!!

Listen, Have Faith, and Obey

You would think by now in my walk with the Lord I wouldn't be so wowed every time He speaks to me but each time it is so much more real and so much more loving, I am amazed. How does He keep just getting better and better?...duh!! He is God!! :-D

When I hear God speak I find myself questioning several times before I am obedient. Lord, are you sure this is what you want of me? Lord, why would you want me to do that? Lord, how can I do that, I do not fit this description?  Lord, I'm not strong enough!  Lord, what in the world are you thinking? Lord, what will everyone think, will they mock me or think I'm crazy? Lord, I'm shy I can't do this! Lord, why me? Lord, explain yourself! Lord, is that my heart pounding out of my chest? Lord, give me a sign! Lord, I need another sign! Ok Lord, one more please! I have found myself gripping the pew, the seat, or wherever my feet are planted more times than I can count.

My problem is I'm a people pleaser and a person that has to be doing the "right" thing. My panties get in a huge wad when I feel I am not doing the right thing or things are out of my control.  I just want a mapped out plan so that I can get prepared for anything that is thrown my way making sure that it is agreeable in all manners.

I was nervous just a few weeks ago as I was responsible for 14 teenagers for an entire weekend for Disciple Now. We went to an area store similar to Goodwill. For fun someone else had the idea for the girls to find the craziest most unique outfit, try it on, and we would take pictures. The girls had buggies, giggling and zooming through the store throwing mounds of clothes, shoes, and accessories in their baskets. What in the world was I thinking? How would they get all of these things back where they belong? They were going to mess up this store and I was going to be the one responsible. I was so scared we were going to get thrown out of the store and the news paper headlines would read, "MBC Sunday School teacher arrested for disturbing the peace". Yes, I know that is a bit extreme but my conscience is huge and sometimes I can't let myself just relax. I'm thinking that is probably why the Lord blessed me with my husband because he is an extremely sarcastic person and full of pranks. The Lord knew I needed some balance. :)

Lately I have heard the Lord speak loud and clear on some things. I have gone down the road of questioning and doubting, and questioning some more. I have realized my journey at this point is a lot like Peter after Jesus' resurrection. Jesus appeared to Peter to bring closing to his doubting but also to fulfill His purpose in Peter's life. Jesus asked three times if Peter loved Him and three times Peter said "yes, Lord you know that I love you." (John 21:15) Jesus' response each time was "feed my sheep". You see my response to Him has been just like Peter's. I have told the Lord I love Him over and over but what Jesus wanted from Peter was not just for him to acknowledge that He was speaking but to LISTEN, have FAITH, and OBEY! Ouch, ouch, and ouch!!! That is nothing new under the sun, we need to listen, have faith, and obey.

What I am speaking of is when you know He has spoken, you have declared your love for Him and desire to follow Him but you are not trusting Him in faith for what He has said He will do. Oh me, oh my!! I wonder how many times the Lord has called my name and I have said, "yea, I hear ya" but I continue on in my ways. Reminds me of just yesterday when I hollered for my boys to come in from outside. I called several times and they acknowledged they heard me but still kept shooting hoops. They heard but they didn't listen. They were not intentionally trying to be disobedient but that is exactly what they were doing. My son even came in to say "but mom I made money." As if that would make it alright. Their Tutu (grandmother) promised them ten dollars if they made their shot from a certain distance. Yes I was excited he made his shot and was having fun with his grandma but at the same time I wanted him to understand not following after my call was disobedience. It wasn't trusting me to have the best plan. Seems elementary but at the same time I do it all the time with God. I know he speaks, I acknowledge that I hear but I keep doing what I am doing. Frustrating to say the least when my kids do it so thinking that I do that to my God does make my "BIG conscience" self sick! I guess this is where my kids get their delayed obedience, which in essence is disobedience. Oh Father, forgive me!

You see I have always thought of myself as having an abundance of faith. I believe when obstacles are great they can be overcome, I believe the impossible can be possible most of the times. Every once in a while God throws something out there that I just can't grab hold of like that pew. It just doesn't seem tangible. Of course by my means it will never be tangible but by Him all things are possible. This is where the faith has to come in. I can't just hear like Peter and say yes but I actually have to act on that calling.

Now, hold on because I believe sometimes we can take matters in our own hands and that is disastrous. If we jump ahead of God our plans are to surely fail. I believe when we know God has spoken sometimes it will take time for God to get us from point A to point B. The process. The grooming. The weeding out to prepare for the new. The getting rid of what is not needed to replace with what is needed. Don't get me wrong, if the Lord speaks and you are still gripping the pew, know His voice will grow faint over time if you choose not to let go of the pew and follow after Him. Very humbling thought but very true. We must listen when he calls the first time.

I have a forte for trying to figure God out which is the dumbest thing possible, I know...He is God and will never be figured out while I'm on this earth. I like a plan and I want to have it all ironed out so that I know what I need to do next. There is no faith in always having everything figured out. There is no trust if we have analyzed it all and made a fire proof list of to do's. Right?!? Peter obviously had always done what he thought was the right thing and never fully let God dress him and lead him to places he didn't necessarily want to go. (John 21:18) Getting out of our comfort zone is hard. The enemy wants our faith to falter. He wants us to get convinced that God is not believable and that God is not faithful.

I know this might seem confusing to most but in my mind I can see not around the corner but just one step ahead. That's when we have to trust Him and have faith that he will dress us and lead us around the corner and up the hill and through the valley and into the promise land. Along the way it may get bumpy and be painful as He is desperately trying to chip away the unwanted flesh. But as we endure and not just hear His call but listen, have faith, and obey we can be sure that this process will be a beautiful display for His glory! That is what it is all about anyway...pointing others to Him!! Our lives should be a reflection of Him, allowing others to see His greatness through us. And if they really know us they will know that anything good in our lives is definitely of Him.

Be encouraged if you have heard His voice, DON'T HOLD ON TO THE PEW! LISTEN and TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME with your Savior! He is FAITHFUL!

Favoritism...what do you favor?

Yesterday morning my son was filling me in on some people at his school. He was giving me reasons that he didn't care for this particular person's actions and he says, "I'm not judging him or anything, but mom, he is OFF THE HOOK!" Where in the world do these kids come up with this stuff??? I tried to keep my wits about myself but coming out of a little ten year olds mouth I just had to laugh out loud.

I have been studying James and boy the Lord is doing a number on me! It just seems the more I study the more I find out just how unworthy I am. I'm not certain if I like that feeling but I sure do LOVE to hear God speak! It is what keeps me coming back for more...being in His presence.

This past week studying, one of the verses I read was James 2:1 "My brothers, do not show favoritism as you hold on to the faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ."

Ok so does favoritism include judging??...I think maybe so. We have a tendency to choose one over the other because of our judgement on the matter. Wouldn't you agree? No I'm not saying you shouldn't like steak better than chicken or vise versa.  And I am surely not asking for a debate on favoritism and judgement.  We all have a preference as to what suits us better at times.  My point is do we pass judgement on someone or something because we have our favorites? James went on to say, do we give the rich man the better seat and the poor a spot as our footstool? 

As Anne Lamott says, "You can safely assume you have created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

I would say somewhere along the line favoritism would be involved in that statement.  Of course hate is a strong word in my book and most of us would say that we don't HATE anyone. But don't we give others that inference when we refuse to acknowledge them or choose to give them two seconds of our time when some one of a more social notability is around. Ouch, that hurt. Our human nature is drawn to someone or something that we favor or that holds more value to us.

Try this on for size...isn't Christ the One with the most of everything? Isn't He the King? Doesn't His royalty far out weigh any other? And what time and stature do we give Him? Do we put Him as our footstool when other things that seem to have more importance appear in our daily lives?

Let's bring this home, when our Facebook feed has 48 new status updates or the Word of God hasn't been opened yet today, which do we choose? When our phone is beeping with messages and our child walks in from school, which do we choose to greet first? When we are tired on Sunday morning, do we stay in bed because we stayed up too late or do we rejoice in the day of the Lord and honor Him by being in His house? And when our work load has doubled and there just doesnt seem to be enough hours in the day, do we keep working on our list of to do's or do we fall on our knees and pray to our Father?  Please don't misunderstand me, I am not seeking legalism but I am seeking for us to analyze where we put our favor. Eventually what we favor becomes our character and our character dictates whose we are!! If we are impressed more by what FB has to say than our God, if we place higher the notable and turn our heads on the lowly, if we choose to stereotype this group and exalt another, if we find favor in what the world offers instead of what He has for us what are we really saying of ourselves, and of our God?

I had never thought much of there being fault in favoritism. In my mind I always perceived it as God gave us all preferences; he made none of us the same. That is exactly the difference. There are certain people I mesh with better and certain things I enjoy to do more than others. And again, don't get me wrong, you will have these things in your life, they are your preference. If God made us all the same it would be an even more messed up world. I think where the rubber meets the road is when we choose to show honor and respect more to one over the other. This is where the favoritism comes in. Yes, I looked up the word favoritism and preference and each could be used interchangeably as far as the dictionary goes but to me there is something bigger about the word "favorite" that sets off judgement in my mind. Ok, call me crazy! I don't have any research on that or any Hebrew doctrine. I am just going on a how the words make me reason in my mind. Our actions will show proof of favoritism.  Truly the only One that should hold favor to us is Him.

So remember, when you see that one that may not be of the same social group, the same race, or the same background, don't turn from them and show your favor upon the ones that you find notable. Judging a book by it's cover is never a good thing. They deserve your honor and respect just as much as your BFF or the richest man in the world. Esteem them by offering your best and not your leftovers. The same goes with our Lord and Savior. He knows we have agendas each day but He also knows what is the most important...it is Him! Find favor only in Him!!

Encouraging you today that my desire for us all is to be Off The Hook for Jesus! ;-)

Mom Tell Me Some Miracles...

Last night my son asked me, "Mom, can you tell me some miracles in my life." He caught me off guard.  I wasn't expecting that to be the topic of our before bedtime prayer.  Nor was I expecting my ten year old to ask me to prove to him that God was working in His life.

I believe we sell God short of His miracles. We have grown so accustomed to technology and factual print that we forget the very presence of Him is a miracle.  We look past that He designed our very intricate being to operate in such a manner that our very breathe and heart beat is one miracle after another.  It slips our memory that it was He that gave us the brain cells to conjure the idea of building a space ship, an airplane, a car, a building or medicines. It is He that sustains us through each day and provides for our every need yet we believe WE do all of that for ourselves.  We set our goals, we worked hard, we paid our dues, We Did It!  WRONG!!  Every good and perfect thing comes from the Lord.  Oh God, forgive us, that our heads have become puffed with pride and arrogance that we have forgotten the everyday miracles you bless us with!

Our sermon this last week was on faith.  I have never had an issue of whether the Bible is Truth.  I just believed.  I have a tendency to lean towards the gullible side.  If you tell me something I will believe you. Yes, I know that can get you in trouble sometimes and can also make you the object of many jokes and I have had my fair share.  I was described this week as having the gift of faith.  And maybe that is rightfully so but, I can also testify to the awesome betterment of faith.  It starts with just a mustard seed; that minute seed of faith requires no spiritual gift just a small sliver of belief that HE IS, HE CAN, or HE WILL!

Witnessing God's miracles is what pushes us to have more faith.  And not one of us can say we haven't witnessed His miraculous ways.  I bet even at this moment you are being prompted to recall that special miracle of healing, or life, or provision, or restoration, or deliverance.  That special time when you knew God had done something great, like when my newhew, Taylor, was born weighing only 2lbs, or when a kidney donor came along for Charleigh Ray, or when my child cried out to Him and his prayers were answered, or even the moment of my salvation!  Realizing His greatness and our unworthiness should drive us to trust Him more because we know that we are nothing without Him.  So why is it so difficult for us to see His miracles in our everyday lives??  WE AREN'T LOOKING!!  As my son reminded me, we wait for someone to slap mud in our eyes so our blindness can be healed. Miracle, right?  Maybe asking God to remove the mud might not be a bad idea.  Maybe you have lived in your puffed up box of self sufficiency for too long you have lost sight of His supernatural occurrences all around you.

I realized last night I have failed to affirm to my children just how miraculous our God is.  I began last night sharing with my son all the many things that God had done in his life that had proven to be miracles from the Lord, starting with his birth.  Of course there were a few things I mentioned that he tried to revert back and say well "I" worked hard for that one but I quickly reminded him of his many prayers asking God to help him in that situation and the Lord was faithful!

Where are you today?  Is the mud still over your eyes and your self righteousness still walking around fighting your battles?  Are you ready to let God reveal a new sight, a miracle, a sight that is breathtaking each and every moment?  The faith of a mustard seed can produce a tree of rest for you and for those around you. Trust Him with your life, trust Him to provide, trust Him for answers, let Him show you the many miracles He wants you to see that are happening all around you each and every day!! 

"Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in it's branches." Matthew 13:32

We, as Christians, are the light for all to see His Glory. Your mustard seed of faith just might be the miracle that someone else needs to see!!  Share your miracles with those around you this season!  Everyone needs the miracle of Jesus!

Clean Underwear?

A few Saturday's ago we were preparing to go to the boys baseball games. They didn't take a bath the night before and insisted on not taking one that morning since they were about to be outside getting filthy dirty playing ball. I relinquished but demanded they put on clean underwear. One of the boys commented, "Mom, why do we have to put on clean underwear? It's not like they will grow mold in them." As I am desperately trying not to roll out of my seat laughing I still made them put on clean underwear.

The Lord is always good about revealing sin in my life; and like it or not it's a lot like dirty underwear. For those of you that are OCD like myself, putting on clean undergarments or clothes each day or a few times a day is just a given. There are no questions about whether we will do it, we just do. So, let's think about this spiritually. Many times we as Christians can go many moons without "fessing up" to our sin. And even if we do seek forgiveness from the Lord, nine times out of ten we are right back in the middle of that sin within weeks, days, or even minutes. It's like taking those filthy clothes out of the dirty clothes and putting them back on again. There is definitely no logic to that but it is evident this is an every day occurrence. And honestly, the mold may not grow on our clothes but it will grow in our hearts.

So, let me give you some more examples to get your mind going on how this works. You have gone to the store knowing you have a budget but that outfit is calling your name, you feed the monster (credit card), and then feed it again, and again, putting that budget out of your mind until that bill is out of control several months later. Let's say your husband isn't meeting your needs, you bash him at home, in front of the kids, and in public in front of friends, and then expect him to "poof" into prince charming. How about this, our job is taking a toll on us so we take it out on all in sight, especially our loved ones and seek vengeance on the ones we work with. Or this is the ultimate, we feel our child has been treated unjustly, so we immediately ridicule the teacher, blame the "so called" friend, and start a war with the parents of that friend. We jump on the train of negativity, gossip, bad attitudes, yelling at out kids, and so on...Are you catching my drift? We know these things are dirty yet we put them on as if to say they smell good!! All I can say is this is....WHACK!! I'm guilty! How and why have we let the world switch the price tags on the value of righteousness, on the value of living a holy and blameless life???

Now, don't misunderstand me because I am not stupid to think that these are just lil' ole struggles and they shouldn't be any problem to fix. Fighting the flesh is never easy! The easy choice for my boys was to leave those "stanky" undies on, the easy choice for us would be to go along with the world and do as they do. We ask forgiveness yet never turn from our sin, then wonder why our lives are in turmoil and nothing seems to work out.

Paul writes, "We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, sin is living inside of me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I do not carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now, if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: when I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 7:14-25

If you got through that and understood it all you are awesome. I sometimes laugh at Paul's grammar...I do what I do, but I don't want to do but I still do. Lol! That's a lot of "do's"!! I'll explain a bit. Our flesh desires sin, we can't help it, it is in our being (just blame it on Eve, she started this mess, Lol). The only way to conquer sin is to have an intimate relationship with Christ, but even then our desires will sometimes outweigh our love for Him. The key is knowing this...

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Cor 10:12

Praise the Lord for His faithfulness to even me. When I am in a right relationship with Him I no longer have to worry if I can reject sin, I know that I can because He has promised to provide a way out. The next time life confronts you with feelings of anger, bitterness, jealousy, greediness, and frustration you have a choice. Listen to the Holy Spirit that is nudging you to put on clean garments. He desires for you to be clean, even your underwear, lest you grow mold!! ;-)

New Vision

Today my son had an eye doctor appointment. On my calendar, I had the appointment scheduled for 10:30. Upon arriving at the office I was quickly informed that our appointment was actually at 8:30. Bummer!!! That is just typical of my days here lately. I'm always behind and a bit mixed up. They ended up letting us stay which was a complete blessing considering this Dr only comes to Longview once a week and we have had this appointment for over a year. This doctor is not easy to get in to see.

Mackenson, had been looking forward to this appointment for quiet some time. He has had glasses since he started the 2nd grade and is now in the 5th grade. He is desperately wanting to get contacts and feels this is the best option for him. I love how kids can look at a situation and think they know everything. Lol! As I picked him up from school the whole ride to the office was to tell me how much contacts were a great idea for him. He talked of a commercial he had seen that said they could last a month and then you could throw them away. He thought that was waaaayyy cool! He also proceeded to tell me that since they didn't dilate his eyes last year that he knew they would be doing so this year. 

They called us back to the room to examine his eyes and all we can hear is a child screaming bloody murder for at least five minutes. He looks at me and says "Mom, I hope I don't do that." Of course my sarcastic reply with a smile was "that will be you in about 10 minutes." He laughs halfheartedly but with a scared look on his face. Exam happens, the spraying occurs and he succeeds with flying colors. NO screams! NO moans! NO crying! Just a little amazement on his part that he didn't die! Lol! We go back to the waiting room to allow time for his eyes to go to the "hardly can see" mode. He sits there and the Lord gives me some perspective.

I have never had trouble with my physical eyes nor has my husband so this living and learning with my child through this has sometimes been difficult. My heart has hurt numerous times from the fear that my child would stand out in an awkward manner and that the crossing of his eyes were a little less than perfect and needed help being able to function properly. I guess all parents have these fears with their children. My fears God has had to conquer.

I sat in the waiting area as my sons vision became blurred and realized even those of us with perfect vision have blurred vision at times. Our problem may not be that we need glasses, bifocals, trifocals, or contacts it may be that we need to see through His eyes and not our own. It may be that we need His Word to clear things up for us. It may be that though our physical eyes are 20/20 our spiritual eyes are dried up and are in major need of the living water to nurture us to site.

When life seems the hardest it is Him who carries us. The hard part is letting Him put that spray in to dilate. You see God does allow storms in our lives, we are to decide how we will handle them. Will we scream with fear and hurt like the little boy in the optometrist office? Will we throw our fit and pout for a while until someone hears us and feels sorry for us? Or will we sit knowing the storm is coming, endure the pain, notice the blur of the storm and be aware that God is working? My son knew that in order to come out on the other end with contacts, clear vision, he was going to have to endure some pain and discomfort. He knew it was then that they could see the problem and help him to get what He needed in order to see correctly. It's the same for us. God uses everyday struggles, battles, and even major catastrophes and devastation in our lives to blur our physical eyes so that our spiritual eyes can be refocused on Him.  It is the process of getting rid of what isn't needed and enhancing what is needed. So though our eyes may be a blur in all that we are going through, His eyes are perfect and able to guide us along the way.  In turn, we come out with what we really need...new eyes...NEW VISION!!