Ok, the last few days has just about been cut throat in some areas. It seems I
have had to deal with more confrontation than I care to stand. I am seeing God work
and I am still letting my emotions take over. The emotional madness is driving me plum nuts...Ugh!! I know the Lord is giving me opportunity to stand
in situations that I have never been able to stand before. My personality is very laid back. I am a go with the flow kinda girl most of the time but I am leaning that even being a "go flow" girl there are times when we have to stand up and be bold for what is right. I am not sure quiet
how to deal with these situations and my fear, anger, and frustration seem to
get the best of me instead of letting His love handle it all. I'm still trying
to learn when my raw emotions come on how I am suppose to stand firm yet love
all at the same time. It is almost more than I can bear. I am seeing it almost
on a daily basis and the evident battle has been going for months on end now. I
keep questioning what the Lord is really trying to teach me and prepare me for.
These past several months seem like a torturing hole that I have been in. I
keep wondering when I will reach the surface, how long it will take, if I will
survive, and how will I get there.
Yesterday I bought the book "Unglued" by
Lysa TerKuerst thinking it would be a good read for our Atlantis vacation next
week. Already on page 23 this morning, and I am literally thinking the Lord had
her write this book for me and specifically for it to be released at this time. It
is so completely and utterly amazing how God shows up right on time. I have
voiced to many of my friends and my husband that I have felt the Lord has wanted
me to stand in times of confrontation and frustration for the right but I
haven't really known how to control the emotions, what my words should be or how to stand along the way. Just in the
first few pages of this book I am realizing that His Word is all I have ever
needed. Duh!! My example is Him. My guide is His Word. And my answer is the
Cross.
I know that in all things the Lord works for the good of those that love
Him, who have been called according to His purpose! (Romans 8:28) Why I think I
must be the exception is beyond me. Regretfully it is due to my impatience for
a faster and easier, not rock the boat sort of result but, nonetheless the Lord knows it takes time. Time to chip away the imperfections. And His
timing is perfect. So as each day passes and I am bombarded with life, bad
situations, hard situations, tummy turning confrontations, and situations that I can't fix, I am
praying the Lord will give me wisdom in my weakness. I am praying that my emotional madness and my 'go flow' personality can be molded to His likeness. That my
perspective will be His and that my words and actions honor His Holy Name. In the
mean time, pray for me, be patient with me, and if you catch me in the flesh of
a situation gone mad please, go easy on me! I truly desire to walk in His way! Prayerfully, I
encourage you that if you are like me, there is hope! He is our hope! We will
make it!! Love you my friends!!
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