As I sat on the runway of LaGuardia Airport Thursday morning in a boeing 737 I got a message I had not expected. I had text a few friends to pray for the case regarding our foster daughter. I hadn't anticipated any bad news as its been several months of smooth sailing through the system. (well as smooth as it could possibly be when you are working with CPS) For some reason I had a weird feeling. Another message came a few minutes later and I knew the news was not good. I made a call already buckled in to my seat as everyone was prepared for take off. The news ripped my heart in two. I cried and cried and got more angry by the minute.
As the plane took off in the air, my mind raced and heart fluttered. Usually I am trying to calm myself for a flight since airplanes are not my favorite form of transportation. But this time my mind was on a little girl that the system had failed again. The questions, the unknowns, the how in the world could this happen, all ran rampant in my head.
After venting to my mom, mother-in-law, and sweet friend Christi on the plane, I felt the camaraderie. I knew I wasn't alone but I still needed the Lord. I scrambled through my carry on and found a couple of my devotion books. I needed His Word and His Truth poured into me at that moment. I desperately wanted to be in His presence.
So, I prayed. I wanted answers. I wanted God to fix this situation. I wanted what I had just heard to be a bad dream. I wanted to wake up and it would not have happened. I wanted God to fill me because I wasn't doing so well on my own.
"Whatever it is, this is when God's Word works. In real time and space. Right smack-dab in the middle of your now reality....Oddly, however, we tend to disconnect the two--our current reality and God's present ability. Somehow, we overlook the nearness of God when we are caught up in the rhythm of life, dancing to the drumbeat of our personal issues. We stay too tired or angry or frazzled to remember that God can work on our behalf now."
"God is bigger, stronger , and wiser than you are. You don't have to carry your burden alone. Whenever you can't, God can."
These are the words God loved me with in that horrific moment! And oh does He love me!! His promise to be there! His promise that He is always working! Nothing on this earth or beyond limits Him. In the heat of the moment I have a hard time believing. I'm not sure why I don't immediately take hold of my emotions and situations and place them where they belong, at His feet, where He can carry them so I don't have to. My hurt He wants. My life He already knew. He knows the life of our foster daughter as well, as He is writing her story. He is in the midst of each chapter of her life. Each page and line is written with His blood. He is present so why do I fear?
Friends, right in the middle of your now reality God is working too, working with His ability not yours. He is not limited by your weakness nor is He limited by your circumstances. He knew the road you would be on today and He is there. He isn't too tired, angry or frazzled to carry what you can't! All we have to do is seek Him!! Never has there been a time that I have sought Him and He wasn't there!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)
Where we can't....HE CAN!!!
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, (Ephesians 3:20 NIV)
I don't know what will happen in this moment but He is here. I don't know what the future holds but I know He is there too. And when I can't comprehend my circumstances I know He has it covered!
Praise God, He can!!!!
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