Translation...May May loves my mom. May May loves my sister. May May loves my daddy. May May loves my brothers. May May loves everybody.
The pains of Foster Care can often times be more than overbearing...mounds upon mounds of paper work, rules that send your mind to the looney bin and your stress level out the window, training hours, visits of all kinds, adjustments to your family's ways and rules, bonding, attachment, learning family dynamics, what a family is and looks like, love, discipline, trust, and the list goes on and on!
I will not sugar coat any part of foster care and say that it is the perfect little package of yummy. It is relentlessly hard. Rewarding but hard. Loving and not knowing what the future holds is a place of faith we never thought we would be. But it isn't about us!! And after a day like today, I have to remind myself again, it isn't about us!! It's about a child of God that needs more. As we sacrifice each day I am reminded of the Lord's sacrifice for me. I'm reminded of His great patience with me as my patience has truly been tested over and over. I'm reminded that no matter my actions or path, He never stops pursuing me or loving me. And as we care for our little May we too never want to stop pursuing her and loving her no matter her actions or path. Y'all that's hard stuff....and we just can not do this without the Lord.
One hard place we are working through is learning it's okay to love, its okay to love more than one person. We can love all of our family. We can even love and it will love you back. Most of us don't get that statement...but try explaining to a five year old that has been removed it is okay to love everyone in her family with out reservation. I would say most of our children were born into our families and it was automatic...they loved, you loved, everyone loved. You didn't have to explain love to them, they loved because they knew you were there for them from the start and you weren't going anywhere. Your actions proved it immediately in their lives. You didn't have to explain to them that they had room to love their siblings, even after the sometimes initial jealousy of a new one, they still knew they could love everyone in their family and it was okay. Somewhere along the way May's trust has been broken and her love is reserved. It breaks my heart for her. I share this with you all because there are so many that do not have the family they crave and need. And because of that lack of, the trauma they have encountered, their behaviors are haywire in school and beyond and havoc is wreaked in their lives due to it all. My heart rejoices yet aches when I read this over and over and I realize that even on the days I want to pull out my hair, our sweet girl IS learning. She IS seeing. She IS getting a taste of what HIS love is all about.
Pray for her. Pray for other children out there that have been removed from their families. A hole so huge has been gouged out of their hearts. And pray these children will see the Love Letters the Lord writes to them, through Foster families, through His Word, and others that come across their path. Only HE heals! But we can definitely be the hands and feet of the One that loves!!
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3 NIV)
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever. (Psalm 136:1 NIV)
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