Clean Underwear?

A few Saturday's ago we were preparing to go to the boys baseball games. They didn't take a bath the night before and insisted on not taking one that morning since they were about to be outside getting filthy dirty playing ball. I relinquished but demanded they put on clean underwear. One of the boys commented, "Mom, why do we have to put on clean underwear? It's not like they will grow mold in them." As I am desperately trying not to roll out of my seat laughing I still made them put on clean underwear.

The Lord is always good about revealing sin in my life; and like it or not it's a lot like dirty underwear. For those of you that are OCD like myself, putting on clean undergarments or clothes each day or a few times a day is just a given. There are no questions about whether we will do it, we just do. So, let's think about this spiritually. Many times we as Christians can go many moons without "fessing up" to our sin. And even if we do seek forgiveness from the Lord, nine times out of ten we are right back in the middle of that sin within weeks, days, or even minutes. It's like taking those filthy clothes out of the dirty clothes and putting them back on again. There is definitely no logic to that but it is evident this is an every day occurrence. And honestly, the mold may not grow on our clothes but it will grow in our hearts.

So, let me give you some more examples to get your mind going on how this works. You have gone to the store knowing you have a budget but that outfit is calling your name, you feed the monster (credit card), and then feed it again, and again, putting that budget out of your mind until that bill is out of control several months later. Let's say your husband isn't meeting your needs, you bash him at home, in front of the kids, and in public in front of friends, and then expect him to "poof" into prince charming. How about this, our job is taking a toll on us so we take it out on all in sight, especially our loved ones and seek vengeance on the ones we work with. Or this is the ultimate, we feel our child has been treated unjustly, so we immediately ridicule the teacher, blame the "so called" friend, and start a war with the parents of that friend. We jump on the train of negativity, gossip, bad attitudes, yelling at out kids, and so on...Are you catching my drift? We know these things are dirty yet we put them on as if to say they smell good!! All I can say is this is....WHACK!! I'm guilty! How and why have we let the world switch the price tags on the value of righteousness, on the value of living a holy and blameless life???

Now, don't misunderstand me because I am not stupid to think that these are just lil' ole struggles and they shouldn't be any problem to fix. Fighting the flesh is never easy! The easy choice for my boys was to leave those "stanky" undies on, the easy choice for us would be to go along with the world and do as they do. We ask forgiveness yet never turn from our sin, then wonder why our lives are in turmoil and nothing seems to work out.

Paul writes, "We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, sin is living inside of me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I do not carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now, if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: when I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 7:14-25

If you got through that and understood it all you are awesome. I sometimes laugh at Paul's grammar...I do what I do, but I don't want to do but I still do. Lol! That's a lot of "do's"!! I'll explain a bit. Our flesh desires sin, we can't help it, it is in our being (just blame it on Eve, she started this mess, Lol). The only way to conquer sin is to have an intimate relationship with Christ, but even then our desires will sometimes outweigh our love for Him. The key is knowing this...

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Cor 10:12

Praise the Lord for His faithfulness to even me. When I am in a right relationship with Him I no longer have to worry if I can reject sin, I know that I can because He has promised to provide a way out. The next time life confronts you with feelings of anger, bitterness, jealousy, greediness, and frustration you have a choice. Listen to the Holy Spirit that is nudging you to put on clean garments. He desires for you to be clean, even your underwear, lest you grow mold!! ;-)

New Vision

Today my son had an eye doctor appointment. On my calendar, I had the appointment scheduled for 10:30. Upon arriving at the office I was quickly informed that our appointment was actually at 8:30. Bummer!!! That is just typical of my days here lately. I'm always behind and a bit mixed up. They ended up letting us stay which was a complete blessing considering this Dr only comes to Longview once a week and we have had this appointment for over a year. This doctor is not easy to get in to see.

Mackenson, had been looking forward to this appointment for quiet some time. He has had glasses since he started the 2nd grade and is now in the 5th grade. He is desperately wanting to get contacts and feels this is the best option for him. I love how kids can look at a situation and think they know everything. Lol! As I picked him up from school the whole ride to the office was to tell me how much contacts were a great idea for him. He talked of a commercial he had seen that said they could last a month and then you could throw them away. He thought that was waaaayyy cool! He also proceeded to tell me that since they didn't dilate his eyes last year that he knew they would be doing so this year. 

They called us back to the room to examine his eyes and all we can hear is a child screaming bloody murder for at least five minutes. He looks at me and says "Mom, I hope I don't do that." Of course my sarcastic reply with a smile was "that will be you in about 10 minutes." He laughs halfheartedly but with a scared look on his face. Exam happens, the spraying occurs and he succeeds with flying colors. NO screams! NO moans! NO crying! Just a little amazement on his part that he didn't die! Lol! We go back to the waiting room to allow time for his eyes to go to the "hardly can see" mode. He sits there and the Lord gives me some perspective.

I have never had trouble with my physical eyes nor has my husband so this living and learning with my child through this has sometimes been difficult. My heart has hurt numerous times from the fear that my child would stand out in an awkward manner and that the crossing of his eyes were a little less than perfect and needed help being able to function properly. I guess all parents have these fears with their children. My fears God has had to conquer.

I sat in the waiting area as my sons vision became blurred and realized even those of us with perfect vision have blurred vision at times. Our problem may not be that we need glasses, bifocals, trifocals, or contacts it may be that we need to see through His eyes and not our own. It may be that we need His Word to clear things up for us. It may be that though our physical eyes are 20/20 our spiritual eyes are dried up and are in major need of the living water to nurture us to site.

When life seems the hardest it is Him who carries us. The hard part is letting Him put that spray in to dilate. You see God does allow storms in our lives, we are to decide how we will handle them. Will we scream with fear and hurt like the little boy in the optometrist office? Will we throw our fit and pout for a while until someone hears us and feels sorry for us? Or will we sit knowing the storm is coming, endure the pain, notice the blur of the storm and be aware that God is working? My son knew that in order to come out on the other end with contacts, clear vision, he was going to have to endure some pain and discomfort. He knew it was then that they could see the problem and help him to get what He needed in order to see correctly. It's the same for us. God uses everyday struggles, battles, and even major catastrophes and devastation in our lives to blur our physical eyes so that our spiritual eyes can be refocused on Him.  It is the process of getting rid of what isn't needed and enhancing what is needed. So though our eyes may be a blur in all that we are going through, His eyes are perfect and able to guide us along the way.  In turn, we come out with what we really need...new eyes...NEW VISION!!

Be A Friend

School is back in full swing and everyone in our house just about has a different schedule.  Of course, my hubby is still busy at work and now helping coach a fall baseball team; which means for the boys and him two practices each week with two games on Saturdays.  Madison has a laundry list of things that she is involved in this year which includes before school practices and after school practices, and after practice practices...shew!! And that leaves me as the taxi and gofer to make certain that all is on the calendar prepared for and taken care of.  I truly wonder how all you full time working moms do it? You are a hero to me for sure! 

A new year always has its new challenges and we have endured many over the last couple of weeks.  I praise God for seeing us through and loving me despite my flesh.  It is so very humbling to know He loves me that much! 

My son came home from school after the first day a little lonely not having any of his guy friends in his class.  I had asked who he sat with at lunch and he began to tell me about the boys that he is friends with that passed by 4 empty seats next to him at his table.  Of course I asked him if he invited them to sit with him and He said no.  I then had to explain to my son that in order to have a friend we must be a friend.  

I believe that is sometimes a hard lesson for us to learn.  We see someone we know and expect them to make the first move of conversation or be the one to invite us to lunch or an event and when it doesn't happen we assume they don't like us or don't want to be friends with us.  Sounds silly or a bit petty but how many times have you gone to church or a community function and you felt like you were not really there, invisible to all present. We leave telling our spouse, "I know she saw me but she just walked right past me." Or as we sit on the back pew of the church and there is meet and greet time, we stay still in our pew, we don't cross the Jordan, we don't look to our left or right or three rows over, we expect them to come to us.  And why is that? Is it from our own insecurities? Do we have an attitude of selfishness and think everyone should do for us first? Is it because we are just a visitor and feel it isn't our place to make the first move?  Why is it that even as a 10 year old boy, our mind and body is stuck in a seat watching opportunity pass by?

Again in order to have a friend we must be a friend.  A relationship requires work and sometimes it will require more work on one person's part until establishment is made.  

We had a stray dog show up on Saturday at our house.  I was not happy at all! You see we have four dogs already another one is NOT needed.  Our male dog was extremely happy to see this sexy female come into his life and boy did he want to let her know how excited he was to see her.  Lol!  We tried to shew her away and send her down the road but she kept coming back.  And why was that?  My male dog made her feel welcome (so did my children, of course!)  

This is a perfect picture of friendship, someone walks by and our job is to get excited that they are in our presence.  Of course, we don't have to act like a male dog chasing a female dog but you get my picture! Lol!  Relentless, never giving up until we know we have made that person welcome.  I have shared a million times with my Sunday School girls and my kids, imagine everyone with a sign around their neck that says "Make me feel special!" I can say when I was younger this was an important part of my everyday life and for some reason after having all my kids and dealing with my own insecurities I have fallen from this. I can see where I have missed out on friendships and opportunities to share Christ because I have not been a friend to begin with.  Oh God forgive me, that I have not loved my neighbor as you have loved them.  

Many times in the Bible the Lord instructs us to love our neighbor as our self.  “You, my brothers, were called to be free, but do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.  The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other." Galatians 5:13-15

God is good to warn us not to sit on the opportunity to love someone else. He is gracious to remind us over and over again in His Word and to express to us the importance of loving those that are around us.  Yes we are free but with freedom comes responsibility, a responsibility to be a friend! And lest we take heed there will be consequences.

Encouraging you today that as you meet new people or just mingle with the same ole ones...be a friend, make them feel special, love them as you love yourself, as Christ loves you!!

Anyone want a DOG??????????

Trusting Him with Them...

Summer has come and gone and I am getting back on the wagon to tell my life experiences with God.  I have been back and forth on how personal I should be and what is too much information to share about my family with out making any one of us vulnerable.  This has been a rather hard decision as I have written a couple of devotions but have not shared them in reluctance of them being too personal.  So today I sit with my heart and mind full.  I am not at all sure what will come out but letting Him lead and to Him be the Glory!!

At the end of last year my daughter had to choose what classes she would take for her first year at the Junior High.  Wow, Junior High...it blows me away to think I have a child that old.  She brought home a paper with several choices for electives and also choices of advanced or regular classes.  There had been a parent meeting describing what courses were important for your child to take and taking those advanced classes were contingent upon there success through high school and college.  She made her elective choices of choir, athletics, art, and career investigations and then we encouraged her to select a few advanced courses.  She was super excited about her choices and ready to conquer the 7^th grade.  

A couple weeks ago on a Thursday afternoon, we went to register and pick up schedules for all my kids.  The Junior High campus was our last stop and as soon as we received our schedule a horrible look of disappointment fell upon my daughter’s face.  She pointed to the office and said “I don’t have any advanced classes, mom, there is the office.” I didn’t spend any time looking at teachers or electives just glanced to see there were no ADV written in front of English, Math, or History.  We went to the office and were told to fill out a “request to change form” and that they would let us know something by Wednesday. 

Now let me tell you that Madison is an A student with an occasional B.  She is not the smartest kid ever but definitely not stupid.  She however, did not obtain a "commended performance” on her TAKS test but did score very well.  That being said you can imagine a momma’s anger, especially when her child had anticipated with excitement on getting these courses.  Here’s where the drama came in.

Each year I have been skeptical of at least one set of teachers my children have had, but each year God has been faithful in seeing them through.  Last year however for Madison it was a rough year. One in which we had to really choose to trust God in. 

Please don’t misunderstand I am not a parent that likes to blame teachers for a child’s mistakes but I do feel that a lack of desire on a teachers part, or a dislike of a student can contribute to that students academic success and emotional state. Granted, I went to school to be a teacher and have subbed over the last several years and realize the huge responsibility that teachers have to meet. It is almost impossible to meet the many needs of students on so very many different levels emotionally, socially, and academically, not to mention the requirements that the district and state give them to teach students basically to excel on ONE test. Yes, it is a messed up world we live in. 

I had prayed God would show mercy on Madison this year and put her in classes with students that cared about learning, that cared about their grades, that cared about being respectful to teachers, that cared about the things they were involved in, and to have teachers that cared about her, etc.  We thought being placed in some advanced courses would alleviate some of the issues we struggled with the year before. We waited for a response after putting our request to change in and meanwhile my blood began to boil.  I had thought to myself, why on earth should a child that made A’s not be allowed in an advanced class? Why is it always my child that has to endure hardship? Why is it I volunteer so much of my time to the school district and no one hears my voice when I am upset? Why once again will my child be left out and have to endure being placed with kids that could serve as a bad influence on her? Why? Why? Why? (whine, whine, whine!)

Now it’s Friday night and my daughter has been invited to a back to school sleep over with a few friends. Upon dropping her off I find one other of Madison’s friends has also been denied...one out of 15 probably. Ugh! We get to talking with another mom whose child did get into the courses and we are all just a griping!  You can imagine the conversation.  It went from bad to worse and by the time I left I was boiling even more.  I went to sleep that night mad that God would allow this to happen. Why Lord could you not show mercy upon my child?  Well, here it goes, that’s when God slapped me over the head. (I think He must enjoy that, LOL, jk!)  I woke early Saturday morning and this verse popped into my head.

”Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. 
Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” Matthew 6:34

So, God was telling me my worries should not be my own.  Conviction set in and I
immediately had to text the two moms I had been griping with to apologize for my behavior and share with them what God had shared with me.  The Lord had also voiced to me that He had not failed me yet and that where ever Madison was placed it was for His Glory.  Ugh!  That was not an easy pill to swallow.  As a matter of fact my pride almost got the best of me.  God has been teaching me over and over to deal with confrontation.  I like to just shy away from it because to me not facing it makes it so much easier.  Although, I know God was not telling me to not pursue what I felt was best for my child BUT to be content with His decision.  As a parent we always feel we know best but ultimately my Father in heaven is the master at plan making!!

The next Friday rolled around and the school officials had met to look over grades and TAKS scores and had made their final decisions.  I went to pick up my daughter’s schedule and the inevitable had occurred.  She did not get put in any advance courses after they had encouraged students of her type to apply, and after we had asked for a schedule change.  Ok, here was the real test...was I going to throw a fit and demand a change or would I trust God and let it go.....wait for it....wait for it...I waited to speak to someone in that office thinking again surely this is not for real.  Twenty minutes passed as I sat in a chair and my heart melted.  I was holding back tears as I knew I would have to go to break the news to my daughter they didn’t feel she was smart enough for the challenge.  I was finally greeted to meet with someone in the office and I could barely speak as my emotions consumed me.  My heart felt plea had fallen on deaf ears and their decisions were final.  I left that office feeling defeated, misunderstood, unwelcome, and just plane awful!  What would I tell my daughter that had told me the night before, “Mom, I really want to learn this year and do the very best I can, I don’t want it to be like last year.” 

For an entire week God had reminded me over and over His plan is perfect.  Psalm
73:23-24 “You hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterwards you take me into glory.” God wanted me to know that with every difficult or complicated decision or circumstance that I faced I must turn to Him and not my emotions or my own plan.  That meant that I must admit my perspective is limited!!!  Oh so very limited!!  We can’t know what tomorrow will bring but He is the one that can see around the bend in the road that overwhelms us. 

I went home that day to explain to my daughter a plan that God had, that I wasn’t sure I understood.  No, regular classes are not the end of the world!  And I surely do NOT feel all teachers and kids are bad that have these classes.  This may be for Madison to carry a light for some that may never see it.  It may be because she really can’t handle advanced classes.  It may be for me to learn I can’t always have my way and I must learn to stand but also learn to endure.  It may be for Madison to learn that if she truly desires something she must learn to work harder for it.  There could be a million reasons why God chose this path.  But I know my job is to stand on His firm foundation and trust that all things work for the good of those that love Him.  (Rom 8:28)

What about you today, what is it that you are battling God about? Do your plans match with His?  Do you trust that He can see past the bend in your road that you are trying to conquer?  What will you do now? Will you trust Him?  Will you seek His counsel or will you throw a fit to get your way? 

Encouraging you today that even though you may not see the bigger picture, that you will see just how much He loves you, desires to lead you, and that his plan is perfect!!!

Tuesdays Truth on Wednesday: Who will love me for me

He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would’ve stayed
And she says…

Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said
“I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew


Here returning is my theme of LOVE!  God keeps pounding it in my head and in my heart!

Listening to the radio on the way to meet my friend Kristi and realized we were both listening to the same station and same song. We met in the parking lot and both got out of our cars and the first thing she says is "wow, I never really listened to the words of that song before." I too was thinking the same exact thing. Love how God shows up when you least expect Him too. :)

This song is a sad picture of not showing love to those in need but also how God shows up and loves despite our pitiful attempts. So many hurting, so many that will never know what love is truly all about.

I pray we never forget the young boy that is searching, the women that is hurting, or the man on deaths row. We are no different from them. Our outer appearance may be different, our problems may not be the same, we may have a caring family and a faithful partner, and we may not have a criminal record but there are those out there that have these scars that can't be taken away. Are they any less of people?? Are they any less deserving than we are.  No they are NO less. They are the ones we need to "Love More". 

Just a reminder that we are all in need of love.  No matter the color of our skin, the drama that circles our lives, the rain that pours around us, or the scars that will forever mark us.  WE ALL NEED HIS LOVE.  Love someone else today!  Love them for who they are!

Tuesdays Truth: Love Them More

You may have already realized this but the reoccurring theme to my post lately has been...LOVE! Well, I am slow and I guess that is why it takes God telling me and showing me in a million different ways a lesson that needs to be learned.

Our new motto...Love Them More!! I shared with my kids that I had not been such a great example of this but I was vowing to be better with His strength. I wanted them to be on the same page and asked them to vow to do the same.

This new motto may sound a bit selfish but my purpose is not to love more by out doing; a top that attitude is not at all what I am going for. My goal is to love them more than myself, to love them the way Jesus would. That will require dying to self and not giving into the temptation of the "it's all about me" world we live in.  And "them", that encompases all that I come into contact with and even those that I don't.  I would say that is quiet a tall order, but none the less what God would have us to do.

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." John 15:2

Wow!! We can't top that! But His command says that should be our goal. That should be what we strive for. Intentions just won't cut it. We have to live on purpose! Live with a goal in mind, looking for those opportunities that await and those people that are right in front of us to love more! To love more than ourselves! 

The sad part is we can't do this unless we have the love of the Father living in us!  We can't share what we don't have.  If we are not living daily in His presence then we can not share His love.  Oh, that we may know Him personally and walk with Him daily.

Challenging you today to "Love Them More"!! Encouraging you that with Him all things are possible! Live with purpose!!  Live loving them more!!

Responding in Love

God has been teaching me through the struggles of my preteen just how sinful I am. Man, that stinks! I always thought that it was my job to teach my child not for them to teach me! A typical day is for God to show me just one more sin that needs to be removed from my life.  So thankful He is molding me!

I am learning so much on how my reaction or response to a problem or life in general affects the learning of my children. So, last night after a fish fry dinner we went to the Yogurt Bar to celebrate our dear friend Ryker graduating from college.  Our goal was to spend some quality time with him chatting it up.  He has been an amazing example and friend to my kids.  We all filled up our bowls while I kept reminding the boys they would be eating every bite of what was put in that bowl and to not get so much that they couldn't eat it. We sat down to enjoy some chat time and of course here is where the drama began.  My middle child, oldest, and myself all crammed in on one side of the table.  Seating was tight and the kids were not happy they had to sit so close. We are to the point that my preteen is thinking she is a little too cool to sit by her pesky brother.  And yes, he pestered her by putting his legs as far apart as he could to make less room. It quickly turned to a lil push, a lil shove, and a lil punch, and a lil grab! OMGoodness I think my children have lost their minds and their love some days.  Fight, Fight, Fight, were the words I thought I heard people yelling!!  (just kidding not really, but it sure felt like all eyes were on us)  Here comes "Mom Referee" to the rescue in the middle of Yogurt bar!  A stern word ended the brawl but the attitudes had now settled in.

This morning doing our "God time" I was talking to them of their behavior and pointed out that our responses to others are important and that our love is shown through those responses. I told them that even though sometimes someone makes us angry or we really want to retaliate because of their meanness that doesn't make it right. Putting others before ourselves is key. My lovely preteen says, "well you would have responded the same way mom, if he would have done that to you!" Yikes!! I denied that completely but when they all got out of the car the Lord spoke to my heart and said "they have learned those responses from you, Kim."  Maybe not the pushing and shoving part, I think I have out grown that, but I think I still inhabit the "I want my way attitude."

My mind goes back to My Savior and all the ridicule, the beatings, the burdens of others, the gruesome road to Calvary that he endured!! YET...HE..DID..NOT...retaliate!!!! He kept his cool, He didn't try to defend His point of view, His didn't proclaim the people were wrong over and over to make Himself right, He didn't push or shove, or punch, or say a harsh word!! He didn't run the other way because this was not what he wanted!  He put all of us before that!! Before Himself!! Why oh why is it so difficult for us to not see that His example of love is perfect and blameless. Why can we not love as He loves??

"Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in darkness; he does not know where he is going , because the darkness has blinded him." 1 John 2:9-11

God I pray for the blinders to fall from my eyes, for my response to others to be in love, for 'my way' to not be important any longer, for you to be glorified and honored by the way that I respond, for your name to be lifted high.  Oh God that others may see You in the way that I love them.

Be encouraged today that though we all make a mess of life sometimes, He forgives, He still loves, and He is still ready to walk with us.  Loving someone else without having to be right, without saying a harsh word when they have hurt us, without wanting our way, is not an easy task.  But if we are walking in His light we will be victorious!  Praying today that we will not hate but LOVE!!