How often do we forget???

The Lord has been hammering me! Each time I turn around it seems the same lessons keep reappearing. I know this must mean the Lord is trying to drill them through my thick skull! And obviously I have a thick skull!!

I studied James at the beginning of this year with my small group and now I am on it again with my 11th and 12th grade Sunday School girls. I am also studying Nehemiah and reading the book Unglued. Plus we do the Jesus Calling book with the kids. I know, I'll admit it, I'm a lil ADD! I can't stay focused on just one thing. I get a little antsy! Lol! I say all that to say in some strange way, they have all intertwined and continue to break my heart (in a good way though). I continue to see so much more of me that needs to be weeded out. In James, God is digging in my soul to help me to understand mercy and love for others. In Nehemiah He wants me to see others the way He sees them and be broken for them. In Unglued I am learning just how unglued from Truth my emotions can be and of course in Jesus Calling, He continues to draw me unto Himself!! Hammered!!!!!

I have really been troubled over my reaction to situations that are out of my control. I can say that I don't always react in the loving way that God would have me to. I tend to let my frustration and anger step in especially with my kids. Does this ever happen to you? Please say I'm not the only crazy mom out there!?!?!

For instance, I have one child that is super slow at just about everything they do. If they have to take a shower and lay out clothes for the next day that could take up to two hours. Now, in my mind a normal person should be able to do that in about 20 minutes, so you can imagine when it takes two hours that it seems to run poison through my veins that turns me in to the Incredible Hulk or something. I turn green and begin to scream!! (Well, maybe not the green part, LOL). Or maybe it is knowing there is a school project due and they have five days to complete it and the day before they are begging for help because they haven't even begun the project. How about this one, they will ask a question that two seconds prior I answered in complete and full sentences using paragraph form. I begin to react on how dumb they must be for not just listening to me! Or maybe its that situation where you know you have to be somewhere at a certain time and it's seems every child in the house thinks they have a million minutes to get ready! Ugh!!

I'm not sure if you are following me or not but my reactions STINK!!! I'm not good at it, at all!! And no matter how much I know about His Word and the response I should be making in love it isn't always happening! It seems to be a failing cycle but one I intend to break with the Lords help!!

Yesterday was a perfect example. I think sometimes we learn/copy/mimic reactions from those around us. Can I get an amen?   Great example of how important it is the company we keep.  Because someone else reacts a certain way we tend to react that way as well. I caught myself yesterday.  As I watched one person choose to to behave in the wrong way this in turn spurred a reaction from another.  I saw one persons reaction to another's sin and I jumped on the bandwagon. My reaction could have been different, it could have been to lovingly speak Truth in this persons life but it wasn't. The end result was remorse and feeling awful! Sometimes seeing someone else react the way you always do puts things in perspective. It is sometimes easier to point out someone else's sin than it is our own (but that is a whole nother devotion).  What hurts most is realizing as you watch it unfold you are guilty of that same reaction.  You then begin to understand the damage you are doing to the ones you least want to do it to.

James 1:22-25 says, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says, anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it--will be blessed in what he does."

Woe is me!!! I don't want to forget what God is teaching me! I don't want to forget what He is saying! I don't want to not do what He ask of me!! I want to live in His promise of freedom and blessings! My response to questions, statements, projects done the night before, time management, and other get under my skin moments must not get the best of me. I must remember that the Lord desires me not to forget to love in these moments of correction or just simple calm response times. I have to not forget! Not forget what He has taught me!

He has been asking me to respond in love and not react in frustration or anger! He has been asking me to love them more even to the point of having faith in areas that require risk! He has been telling me to trust His Way and believe His promises!

Respond in love! Faith to Love Them More! Trust His Way! Believe His Promises!

That's a lot to not forget especially in my chaotic short attention span world! I pray that if you struggle with any of these issues that you will be encouraged that you are not alone. The Lord desires for us to walk a little closer to Him while He weeds out the junk that doesn't belong! We hear you Lord, help us to remember!!

The Road Less Traveled....sacrifice and love

This morning in the shower my heart was troubled over the many people in this world that we over look.  I am speaking of those children with out any homes or families to call their forever parents and siblings.  I'm speaking of those orphans that do not have the love and support of people around them to encourage them and steer them to a Godly life or to tell them of how Christ paid their ultimate price of death so that they too could live eternally.  I'm speaking of all those around us day in and day out that need to be noticed, that are hurting inside yet they fake a smile everyday.  I'm speaking of those that just need someone to flash them a smile or give them that encouraging word that they are going to make it.  My heart breaks over and over as I realize just how much we over look each and every day.  Oh that God would break our hearts to action!

As I was washing my hair my mind began to envision a lone dark road that was very much less traveled.  Two cars have collided together and children are laying on the road side near death.  You know that it could be an hour or more before another car passes by.  What do you do?  Obviously, there is NO question....you pull over as fast as you possibly can, you call 911, and you begin to help any one that you can.  You don't think about it, you don't wonder

if you are qualified, or think you have nothing to offer...YOU HELP!  By what ever means you have you offer yourself and your time as a sacrifice to these people. 

The Lord was reminding me that this must be my attitude when I see hurting and lonely people, children without families, teens without guidance, and adults that are searching.  I can't wonder if someone else will come along, if I am suitable, or if they really need me; I have to help.  I must dial the 911 to heaven, calling unto the Lord on their behalf, I must meet them where they are, even if it's in sin, and I must tell them to seek the great Healer and Physician, encouraging them that the Lord is faithful and hears their cries.  I must be the mother or the friend that they do not have because just as those two cars were on the road less traveled many of those around us are on that same road feeling defeated and alone.

Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."

There are so many that need the Lord, that need a family, that need healing, that need a friend, that need salvation, that need a hug or a word of encouragement.  So many do not have this.  And what do we do, we pass them by without even taking notice.  We move on with our busy lives waving at those children near death on the side of the road and oh yes we hate it for them but we DO nothing.  We think someone else will come along, someone more qualified, someone that has more knowledge, more time, and more money.  Oh this is where I am breaking as the Lord reveals more and more to me of how selfish I have been.

As I drove my kids to school this morning we opened up our Jesus Calling for kids and began to read.  What a timely word from the Lord.  He always seems to confirm what He puts in my heart over and over through His word.  How grateful I am that He speaks to me.

 

Romans 12:1 "Since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him.  Your offering must be only for God and pleasing to him.  This is the spiritual way for you to worship."

 

Sacrifice!!  What??  Who does that?  Who sacrifices the better and bigger side of the sandwich?  Who sacrifices the front seat of the car?  Who sacrifices the bigger cup of chocolate milk, or the favorite spot on the couch and the remote?  Who sacrifices a game that a friend/sibling wants to play first instead of what we want?  Those are obviously things my kids struggle with but let's talk on adult level.  Who sacrifices buying Starbucks everyday to be able to sponsor a child through Compassion International?  Who sacrifices their time with CASA to be able to advocate for a child that has been taken from their biological family?  Who sees the man on the side of the road and buys them dinner without judging if they are legit or not?  Who sees the coworker going through a tough time and prays with them each day?  Who sees the hurting wife and mother that thinks she just can't take one more minute?   Who compliments that one person everyone else gripes about getting on their nerves?  These are the least of these!  These are the ones we must sacrifice for! 

Is it a sacrifice? Of course it is!  Is it hard!  You bet it is!  Does it require us to think less of what we want and need and more of others! You are darn right it does!  Have I mastered this???  Heck NO!  But I know that because the Lord is making me aware.....I AM RESPONSIBLE!!!!  We all are!! 

The Bible tells us over and over what is expected.  And the greatest command is LOVE.  Love requires you to act! It's a verb! It's action! It's something we do, not just something we say!  What are we DOING today to love those around us?  To LOVE THEM MORE than ourselves!!  Be encouraged, that the One who created you, loves you and has sacrificed for you, even to the point of death!  What a blessing to be loved so much!!  May we loves other as He loves us!!

"Go Flow" Girl and Emotional Madness...

Ok, the last few days has just about been cut throat in some areas. It seems I have had to deal with more confrontation than I care to stand. I am seeing God work and I am still letting my emotions take over.  The emotional madness is driving me plum nuts...Ugh!!  I know the Lord is giving me opportunity to stand in situations that I have never been able to stand before. My personality is very laid back.  I am a go with the flow kinda girl most of the time but I am leaning that even being a "go flow" girl there are times when we have to stand up and be bold for what is right. I am not sure quiet how to deal with these situations and my fear, anger, and frustration seem to get the best of me instead of letting His love handle it all. I'm still trying to learn when my raw emotions come on how I am suppose to stand firm yet love all at the same time. It is almost more than I can bear. I am seeing it almost on a daily basis and the evident battle has been going for months on end now. I keep questioning what the Lord is really trying to teach me and prepare me for. These past several months seem like a torturing hole that I have been in. I keep wondering when I will reach the surface, how long it will take, if I will survive, and how will I get there. 

Yesterday I bought the book "Unglued" by Lysa TerKuerst thinking it would be a good read for our Atlantis vacation next week. Already on page 23 this morning, and I am literally thinking the Lord had her write this book for me and specifically for it to be released at this time. It is so completely and utterly amazing how God shows up right on time. I have voiced to many of my friends and my husband that I have felt the Lord has wanted me to stand in times of confrontation and frustration for the right but I haven't really known how to control the emotions, what my words should be or how to stand along the way. Just in the first few pages of this book I am realizing that His Word is all I have ever needed. Duh!! My example is Him. My guide is His Word. And my answer is the Cross. 

I know that in all things the Lord works for the good of those that love Him, who have been called according to His purpose! (Romans 8:28) Why I think I must be the exception is beyond me. Regretfully it is due to my impatience for a faster and easier, not rock the boat sort of result but, nonetheless the Lord knows it takes time. Time to chip away the imperfections.  And His timing is perfect. So as each day passes and I am bombarded with life, bad situations, hard situations, tummy turning confrontations, and situations that I can't fix, I am praying the Lord will give me wisdom in my weakness.  I am praying that my emotional madness and my 'go flow' personality can be molded to His likeness.  That my perspective will be His and that my words and actions honor His Holy Name. In the mean time, pray for me, be patient with me, and if you catch me in the flesh of a situation gone mad please, go easy on me! I truly desire to walk in His way! Prayerfully, I encourage you that if you are like me, there is hope! He is our hope! We will make it!! Love you my friends!!

Fairy Tales Gone Realistic

My mind has information, problem solving, deep thoughts, and unanswered questions all swirling around at once. I wonder how I can even see straight when times like this come along. I know the Lord desires for me to SEE clearly what He has for me and sometimes writing it down helps me to unravel the intertwined words, feelings, and truths that are so engrossed into my heart. 

I have been studying Nehemiah and I am loving seeing his true heart for people. I saw this book on the shelf several months ago and it caught my attention. My initial interst was because a friend expressed her love for studying this book of the Bible and knew I too would love it. The next thing that drew me in was as soon as I turned open the pages I saw little foreign country faces staring into my eyes and Kelly Minter's (the author) words of encouragement to follow what the Lord breaks our hearts for. I was runnning to the check out counter at this point.

For some time now the Lord has broken my heart for children. Thankfully the Lord has allowed me opportunity to love on many. With each passing day He gives me opportunity, some days I fail miserably and other days I am so excited and eager to love on one more for His Glory! I am learning with each step just how much my God loves me and just how gracious He is!

Nehemiah has been tough to get through. His example is a tough act to follow. He never lost his focus on what the Lord called him to do. He never lost focus of His love for people while carrying out his task of service to the Lord. I wonder how many times I do that on a daily basis?   The Lord shares His desires for me and I make a mess of it.  The Lord has blessed me with three children although regularly I lose sight of the fact that my job is to teach them His ways yet also to love them more even when they are not acting according to what I have taught them. Challenging?? I think yes!!

Let me give you an example. We decided to take the kids to Splash Kingdom and an over night stay in Dallas with a school shopping trip the next day. To my displeasure it did not go as I had planned. You know how us women do, we get a plan mapped out in our heads and it looks just perfect. If our husbands are involved it has a romantic feel and if our kids are involved everyone behaves with such spiritual wisdom and love that abounds. Yea, yea, right!?!? That is fairy tale life and obviously I don't live there!!

Marc, had a busy week at the office and at the last minute had to cancel going with us. Number one dislike! I had also envisioned getting a new car on this trip as we have been searching online for several months and there were several in Dallas that had caught our eye and I was ready! But with no hubby there, a new car was not on the agenda! Dislike number two!

We got a late start and for the life of me I could not find a prescription of medicine that I just bought on Monday. I combed the house, went to Marc's office to check the bags of trash he had hauled off. Dislike number three and four!! Going through trash with the aroma of rotten meals from two days prior is not my idea of a good time! Yuck!!! I think I scrubbed my hands three times after that. Still no medicine! Ugh!!

We went on to Splash Kingdom. My middle child is one that is the talker in our family. Sometimes I think that is a good thing and other times he drives me slap crazy! He asks a million unanswerable questions and is super curious about the things I know nothing about or things I have not ever even begun to think about. His conversations can be so informational that my brain wants to explode and a part of me wants to scream "CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?" (I wont say for sure but that may have come out of my mouth, especially in the heart of road construction traffic) I know that sounds harsh and I love my son immensely he just is a little too much sometimes, if you know what I mean? Not to mention the brotherly love that is in the form of slaps, pushes, and shoves, condescending remarks, and sarcasm. And that didn't just come from one child. Dislike number five!! I'm sure your thinking "What a great family, personal note...don't ever let my kids set foot in their house, friend them on facebook or have their cel phone numbers"!

Upon arrival and despite the craziness the kids were super pumped and just excited to be outside and in the water. I found us a place to call base and laid on the lounging chair for a few minutes people watching. Can I just say that some people are weird!? I guess we all are weird in some kind of way but I'm thinking some lack common sense, normal hygiene, and the TV show "what not to wear" could have had a hay day. Wow!! I'll spare you the details of a few incidents but trust me when I say GAG! Dislike number six!! I text Marc telling him all about the fun he was missing and he pleaded with me not to send pics. Lol! I assured him I wouldn't because I didn't want to remember either. :-/

As the day went on my kids got meaner and meaner. You know what I'm talking about? You ever had one of those days? I kept trying to remind myself to respond in love and firmness. It seemed that was not working so consequences had to come. Dislike number seven! Don't you just hate having to discipline your kids when it is suppose to be a fun time?

Needless to say my focus of being a loving and Bible teaching mother was going out the window. I was beginning to focus on the tasks at hand instead of the souls at risk. It was no longer about a time to love them more but a time to make them pay for the torture they were putting me through. Please tell me I am not the only one that has been there?!?!

That isn't the end of my dislikes but I don't want to harp on the negative (or dig a deeper hole of the poor pattern of my family). The trip had it's downfalls and I was epic in failure with my focus on myself and my fairy tale plan. As I sat this morning reading through more of Nehemiah's life I couldn't help but think of the example he was for many. Even when life continued to throw curve balls at him he kept his eyes on the Lord and his focus on the hearts of the people. Why is that so difficult for us? For me????

The word cornerstone has come up several times in my reading of the Word over the last few weeks. I looked up the meaning...something that is essential, indispensable, or basic; a stone representing the nominal starting place in the construction of a monumental building; a stone uniting two masonry walls at an intersection. Christ is the cornerstone of our faith, of our beliefs, of the Truth. He is the rock that all should build upon and that everything centers around. We can't love and teach our children with out Him as our cornerstone. We can't love others for His Glory without Him as our cornerstone. We can't invest in the tasks the Lord has called us to unless He is our cornerstone. Nehemiah knew what this meant.
 Nehemiah was called to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem at a time when others did not want this to take place. The Lord also spoke to Nehemiah's heart in not only restoring the walls but the people. The Lord wanted the people to come back to their homes so that Jerusalem could be at it's original state. I know Nehemiah had some major dislikes lurking around in his mind but He chose not to let them get the best of him. He chose to keep His focus on the One and Only, the cornerstone, and love and care for the people for His Glory. Not an example I can say I always follow but one in which I desperately want to be held acclaimed to.

Our little trip intended for fun and excitement ended mostly being a bag of dislikes for me. Which in turn showed my kids and a friend what a mess my heart was. The cornerstone that should have been the place I stood on became something I just jumped from. I had let my outside circumstance/dislikes/realities cloud my view of what mattered most, the people around me. My reactions, my response, showed my feet were not planted on that stone but kicking fitfully back and forth in the water of the lazy river at Splash Kingdom. My focus was not on the human hearts but on the little fairy tale plan in my head of a perfect trip.

Be encouraged, if the Lord places us in situations of dislikes or a fairy tale gone realistic then our job is to keep our focus because His goal is to bring Glory to himself. So today, I climb back up on the cornerstone and fix my eyes upon Him. Praying my dislikes are not a stumbling block for the human hearts that surround me!

Proverbs 4:25 "Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you."

Who are we devoted to?

May 7th, 2012 Over the last few months I would say our family has had some choices to make of where we stood on some matters. It has not been an easy undertaking. "Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them upon your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when your lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4 I'm learning the reality of these scriptures in my life at this moment. This has been underlined for probably ten years in my Bible and I have always taken it to heart in teaching my children. But over the last few months I am now seeing just how desperately important these scriptures are. The world is screaming for the attention and devotion of all of us but especially our children. My youngest will turn ten tomorrow and my heart breaks as I see the evil he will have to overcome. It isn't enough to know the right things but it must be apart of our everyday lives. It must start in the lives of us parents. We can not just give our children things to live with or by, but we must give them HIM to live for. OUR hearts have to be surrendered and captured by the Almighty King if we desire for our children to live a surrendered and devoted life. Too many times we tell our children "do what I say" and never think about the actions WE take. We must wake up and realize our actions will speak much louder than our words! It isn't the Sunday school teacher or the teacher's at school responsibility to steer our children to a right relationship with the Lord...It is our responsibility. I was convicted yesterday as I sat in church and heard Bro Vic once again speak on devotion. Who are we devoted to? The world? God? I left having to apologize to my children for my actions not lining up with my words. Ouch!!

Fluttering for Freedom

Sunday night at 2am, I was awakened to an odd ruffling and fluttering noise. I thought at first the dogs were up and shaking their beds between their teeth, having a little play time. Then I thought maybe they were just scratching and swirling their collars around their necks, as we have had a battle with flees. I would think I was drifting back to sleep and I would hear the sound again. What in the world? I finally realized the noise was not coming from the dog's room. It was coming from the kitchen. I thought oh no I hope there isn't a rodent in my kitchen. I slowly walked into the kitchen and flipped the light on quickly. As I did a bird begins to fly in front of me and across the kitchen. Obviously it startled me and I tried to figure out a plan to get it out of the house. My brain wasn't fully awake and I just wanted to sleep. I didn't know how in the world to get it out and for some reason I was scared every time it decided to fly around. What I did notice was the bird was tired and weary. A few times it landed in the window seal of our breakfast area desperately looking to escape it's captivity. It was so tired from trying to figure out how to get through the glass it would just lay there with it's wings sprawled out devastated from the severe frantic impulse to be free. After a few minutes of watching and not knowing how to intervene I woke up Marc. He wasn't thrilled and together we devised a plan and was able to sweep the bird right out the window.

I tossed and turned trying to get back to sleep and the Lord was on me. He said to me there was application here but all I wanted to do was SLEEP. After finally getting to sleep, I struggled to get out of bed at 6am to get kids ready for school. The Lord was still whispering, application.

Mondays are grocery days at our house. It is time to restock the pantry for the week. I was busy with my list in hand and my head down going through each isle at the ever dreaded WalMart. I looked up and a women approached me with a line of "had I tried this certain product and did I want a catalogue". I was caught off guard a bit as I was in my zone. As I was turning the corner to the next isle the Lord whispered to me "what would life be like if everyone were so bold and would speak of ME like they spoke of their favorite product, or their favorite hobby, favorite job, or favorite anything for that matter? Would there be any tired people around desperately trying to free themselves from captivity or would their longing be fulfilled due to the numerous amount of open mouths proclaiming the Good News? Would they know of the freedom they have in Me because of the boldness of someones love for their Savior?"

Ouch! So many times I walk through my day with my head down not looking to share my Jesus with that desperate soul, that frantic bird searching for freedom. I am too busy to share my favorite with someone because I am on a grocery mission...a family to feed, and sleep to be had. 

I wonder...Is it because money isn't involved? You know we all do strange things when money is a factor. Is it from fear of rejection? Is it that we aren't madly in love with our maker? Is it because we don't want to look silly in the middle of a store or parking lot or odd place where most people don't share the Lord? Why don't we share the most precious gift ever with all we come in contact with? Why it is we won't help those little birds find freedom?  Actually, what we as Christians have to offer is more valuable than money. It is a matter of life and death. It is a matter of eternity.

Encouraging you today to keep your head up.  Listen for the fluttering around you and let the Lord lead you to be bold for the ones that need to be set free by His amazing grace.  There are many fluttering for freedom.

Every Soul Matters!

It's Friday! But Sundays comin'!

I wasn't surprised when I had gotten the call from my mom Friday morning that my granddad had gone to be with the Lord. The day before I had stopped by to visit him at the nursing home. It has been a long last three months for him. He has been very ill and had been put in hospice care in January. At that time he declared he would beat the doctors odds of a couple of weeks, and that he did! I am not sure if I have ever seen such a will for life. His health over the last several years has been quiet crazy and it is if he had nine lives and just keeps coming back for more. In my eyes I always thought what does he have to come back to? He can't play golf or bridge anymore, two of the things he loved the most. His wife had passed a few years before and most of his friends are no longer living as he just turned 89 in January. So Lord, why do you tarry with this man's life? Why must you keep him here with no quality of life? Why should he have to suffer through his last few years on this earth? Why do we have to watch this happen? God answered those questions to me in a way I didn't quiet expect.

I can tell you over the last six months to a year God has been stirring all kinds of newness about our relationship. He has turned my world upside down and made me think out of the box and get out of my boat. Have I enjoyed that? Well, in a weird way...yes! I haven't loved the hard parts but I have loved being able to know my Savior more!

My Wednesday night Bible study group decided to study James around Christmas. We began our study and God began sifting away more of my selfishness, more of the things of "me" that were not needed. It seems He has to do that non-stop. We didn't get far into our study and God was already revealing to me my calloused view in taking care of my granddad and reiterating the burden I had for children with no families.
James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
It was almost a slap in the face as to say 'Kim, you have so not loved the least of these, including your granddad'. Let me just say that hurt! That hurt bad! I will be honest and say my point of view has always been that my stomach couldn't handle the odor and sights of nursing homes or the elderly, or not knowing what to say or how to care for someone that can't get up and go. How shallow am I?? The Lord showed me real quick my selfishness. I repented and asked for the Lord to forgive me and give me opportunity to serve my granddad. God granted that prayer.

Although I had also prayed for the Lord to come quickly for my granddad since he was so sick and so helpless. Obviously that request did not ring true until good Friday. And on the day before as I sat with my granddad as he lay curled into a ball not moving, not saying a word, I put my hands upon him (rubbing his back as I found in the previous months he loved) and cried out for the Lord to end his battle. I know the Lord had not answered my request several months before because he knew I needed to learn something. He knew I needed to learn what it was like to unselfishly care for someone besides those right around me. He knew I needed to see someone else's need for time, for a gentle back rub, a simple haircut, a good teeth brushing, a lotion rub to a dry frail body, or yummy Hershey kisses and a chocolate milkshake to taste buds that were barely left.  Those simple things could make a dying man's day. Oh Lord forgive me as I was too selfish to see if before.

That Friday as I went to pick up my son from a sleepover I began to share the news with him. His first words were so very sweet and so comforting. He said, "Mom, the best part is grandpa died the same day as Jesus." Oh the perspective of a child to make all things good. Such comfort in knowing he is now alive with Christ.

So after getting my son in the car and sharing with him we drive through the Sonic drive through to grab something to drink.  Now, this has been the particular Sonic that the last few times we have been to we have been able to meet the need of the homeless and feed them.  As I looked around and I didn't see anyone in need.  I said to God, 'where are they'?  We drove on to meet my mom as she was gearing up for making funeral preparations and trying to get things in order.  My son hopped out of the car and got in hers and as I looked up I saw a drunk and dirty black man stumbling toward my car.  It startled me.  I shook my head to him as to tell him to go away.  Then I thought, what am I doing???  I just asked God where were they?  I watched my mom, just as startled as I was, give the man a few dollars and we drove on.  As I drove away I looked in my rear view mirror looking for this man that had appeared out of no where and I didn't see him.  I was upset with myself.

Here I felt like I had just learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life watching my granddad die and the Lord so graciously giving me opportunity to care for him as best I could.  Then I had asked God where are the needy?  He supplies, and I retreat.  Now, don't get me wrong I believe God gave us all a brain and for us to be cautious and safe but at the same time if the Lord answers our request, will He not also protect us and provide for us as we carry out that task?  Yes!  He will!  When God calls, He will equip!  This was yet another lesson that I am learning.

Every soul is important!!!!!  Everyone matters!!!  Red and yellow, black and white they are precious in His sight!  Jesus loves all the children of the world.  We are his children!  Each one of us has needs.  Each one of us needs love.  Each one of us needs to be cared for.  Each one of us needs to know that they matter to someone.  Whether they are your neighbor, a stranger, homeless, a drunk, Hispanic, white, old, or young each soul matters for eternity!!  No one is too far gone from God's love!!

So as I reflect on the Easter weekend I am sad but happy.  Sad for a sweet life lost, my granddad.  Sad that an innocent man had to die in the place of my wretched sinful self.  Sad that a poor black man may not know the Lord because I was too scared and didn't trust God enough to provide for me.  BUT Sunday came and I am rejoicing that my granddad is now in the presence of the King. Sunday came and my Savior LIVES!! And because of His great sacrifice I now am forgiven and have eternal life through Him!  Sunday came and I now have opportunity to pray for that homeless man to know the Lord or for our paths to cross again. What a sweet Sunday it was!!

Where are you today?  Who do you know you need to care for?  Is God calling you to care for the homeless?  Is He calling you to love on the less fortunate?  Is He calling you to love those that may not love you back?  Is He calling you to minister to, to care for, or maybe even adopt the orphans and the widows?  What more is He requiring of you today?  If we are growing in Him, He will always be requiring more of us.  Did you catch that?... Our salvation doesn't end with a prayer.  We must be continually growing, other wise we are continually falling away.  Encouraging you that there is NO better place to be than walking with Him!  Every soul matters!!

Listen, Have Faith, and Obey

You would think by now in my walk with the Lord I wouldn't be so wowed every time He speaks to me but each time it is so much more real and so much more loving, I am amazed. How does He keep just getting better and better?...duh!! He is God!! :-D

When I hear God speak I find myself questioning several times before I am obedient. Lord, are you sure this is what you want of me? Lord, why would you want me to do that? Lord, how can I do that, I do not fit this description?  Lord, I'm not strong enough!  Lord, what in the world are you thinking? Lord, what will everyone think, will they mock me or think I'm crazy? Lord, I'm shy I can't do this! Lord, why me? Lord, explain yourself! Lord, is that my heart pounding out of my chest? Lord, give me a sign! Lord, I need another sign! Ok Lord, one more please! I have found myself gripping the pew, the seat, or wherever my feet are planted more times than I can count.

My problem is I'm a people pleaser and a person that has to be doing the "right" thing. My panties get in a huge wad when I feel I am not doing the right thing or things are out of my control.  I just want a mapped out plan so that I can get prepared for anything that is thrown my way making sure that it is agreeable in all manners.

I was nervous just a few weeks ago as I was responsible for 14 teenagers for an entire weekend for Disciple Now. We went to an area store similar to Goodwill. For fun someone else had the idea for the girls to find the craziest most unique outfit, try it on, and we would take pictures. The girls had buggies, giggling and zooming through the store throwing mounds of clothes, shoes, and accessories in their baskets. What in the world was I thinking? How would they get all of these things back where they belong? They were going to mess up this store and I was going to be the one responsible. I was so scared we were going to get thrown out of the store and the news paper headlines would read, "MBC Sunday School teacher arrested for disturbing the peace". Yes, I know that is a bit extreme but my conscience is huge and sometimes I can't let myself just relax. I'm thinking that is probably why the Lord blessed me with my husband because he is an extremely sarcastic person and full of pranks. The Lord knew I needed some balance. :)

Lately I have heard the Lord speak loud and clear on some things. I have gone down the road of questioning and doubting, and questioning some more. I have realized my journey at this point is a lot like Peter after Jesus' resurrection. Jesus appeared to Peter to bring closing to his doubting but also to fulfill His purpose in Peter's life. Jesus asked three times if Peter loved Him and three times Peter said "yes, Lord you know that I love you." (John 21:15) Jesus' response each time was "feed my sheep". You see my response to Him has been just like Peter's. I have told the Lord I love Him over and over but what Jesus wanted from Peter was not just for him to acknowledge that He was speaking but to LISTEN, have FAITH, and OBEY! Ouch, ouch, and ouch!!! That is nothing new under the sun, we need to listen, have faith, and obey.

What I am speaking of is when you know He has spoken, you have declared your love for Him and desire to follow Him but you are not trusting Him in faith for what He has said He will do. Oh me, oh my!! I wonder how many times the Lord has called my name and I have said, "yea, I hear ya" but I continue on in my ways. Reminds me of just yesterday when I hollered for my boys to come in from outside. I called several times and they acknowledged they heard me but still kept shooting hoops. They heard but they didn't listen. They were not intentionally trying to be disobedient but that is exactly what they were doing. My son even came in to say "but mom I made money." As if that would make it alright. Their Tutu (grandmother) promised them ten dollars if they made their shot from a certain distance. Yes I was excited he made his shot and was having fun with his grandma but at the same time I wanted him to understand not following after my call was disobedience. It wasn't trusting me to have the best plan. Seems elementary but at the same time I do it all the time with God. I know he speaks, I acknowledge that I hear but I keep doing what I am doing. Frustrating to say the least when my kids do it so thinking that I do that to my God does make my "BIG conscience" self sick! I guess this is where my kids get their delayed obedience, which in essence is disobedience. Oh Father, forgive me!

You see I have always thought of myself as having an abundance of faith. I believe when obstacles are great they can be overcome, I believe the impossible can be possible most of the times. Every once in a while God throws something out there that I just can't grab hold of like that pew. It just doesn't seem tangible. Of course by my means it will never be tangible but by Him all things are possible. This is where the faith has to come in. I can't just hear like Peter and say yes but I actually have to act on that calling.

Now, hold on because I believe sometimes we can take matters in our own hands and that is disastrous. If we jump ahead of God our plans are to surely fail. I believe when we know God has spoken sometimes it will take time for God to get us from point A to point B. The process. The grooming. The weeding out to prepare for the new. The getting rid of what is not needed to replace with what is needed. Don't get me wrong, if the Lord speaks and you are still gripping the pew, know His voice will grow faint over time if you choose not to let go of the pew and follow after Him. Very humbling thought but very true. We must listen when he calls the first time.

I have a forte for trying to figure God out which is the dumbest thing possible, I know...He is God and will never be figured out while I'm on this earth. I like a plan and I want to have it all ironed out so that I know what I need to do next. There is no faith in always having everything figured out. There is no trust if we have analyzed it all and made a fire proof list of to do's. Right?!? Peter obviously had always done what he thought was the right thing and never fully let God dress him and lead him to places he didn't necessarily want to go. (John 21:18) Getting out of our comfort zone is hard. The enemy wants our faith to falter. He wants us to get convinced that God is not believable and that God is not faithful.

I know this might seem confusing to most but in my mind I can see not around the corner but just one step ahead. That's when we have to trust Him and have faith that he will dress us and lead us around the corner and up the hill and through the valley and into the promise land. Along the way it may get bumpy and be painful as He is desperately trying to chip away the unwanted flesh. But as we endure and not just hear His call but listen, have faith, and obey we can be sure that this process will be a beautiful display for His glory! That is what it is all about anyway...pointing others to Him!! Our lives should be a reflection of Him, allowing others to see His greatness through us. And if they really know us they will know that anything good in our lives is definitely of Him.

Be encouraged if you have heard His voice, DON'T HOLD ON TO THE PEW! LISTEN and TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME with your Savior! He is FAITHFUL!

Favoritism...what do you favor?

Yesterday morning my son was filling me in on some people at his school. He was giving me reasons that he didn't care for this particular person's actions and he says, "I'm not judging him or anything, but mom, he is OFF THE HOOK!" Where in the world do these kids come up with this stuff??? I tried to keep my wits about myself but coming out of a little ten year olds mouth I just had to laugh out loud.

I have been studying James and boy the Lord is doing a number on me! It just seems the more I study the more I find out just how unworthy I am. I'm not certain if I like that feeling but I sure do LOVE to hear God speak! It is what keeps me coming back for more...being in His presence.

This past week studying, one of the verses I read was James 2:1 "My brothers, do not show favoritism as you hold on to the faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ."

Ok so does favoritism include judging??...I think maybe so. We have a tendency to choose one over the other because of our judgement on the matter. Wouldn't you agree? No I'm not saying you shouldn't like steak better than chicken or vise versa.  And I am surely not asking for a debate on favoritism and judgement.  We all have a preference as to what suits us better at times.  My point is do we pass judgement on someone or something because we have our favorites? James went on to say, do we give the rich man the better seat and the poor a spot as our footstool? 

As Anne Lamott says, "You can safely assume you have created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

I would say somewhere along the line favoritism would be involved in that statement.  Of course hate is a strong word in my book and most of us would say that we don't HATE anyone. But don't we give others that inference when we refuse to acknowledge them or choose to give them two seconds of our time when some one of a more social notability is around. Ouch, that hurt. Our human nature is drawn to someone or something that we favor or that holds more value to us.

Try this on for size...isn't Christ the One with the most of everything? Isn't He the King? Doesn't His royalty far out weigh any other? And what time and stature do we give Him? Do we put Him as our footstool when other things that seem to have more importance appear in our daily lives?

Let's bring this home, when our Facebook feed has 48 new status updates or the Word of God hasn't been opened yet today, which do we choose? When our phone is beeping with messages and our child walks in from school, which do we choose to greet first? When we are tired on Sunday morning, do we stay in bed because we stayed up too late or do we rejoice in the day of the Lord and honor Him by being in His house? And when our work load has doubled and there just doesnt seem to be enough hours in the day, do we keep working on our list of to do's or do we fall on our knees and pray to our Father?  Please don't misunderstand me, I am not seeking legalism but I am seeking for us to analyze where we put our favor. Eventually what we favor becomes our character and our character dictates whose we are!! If we are impressed more by what FB has to say than our God, if we place higher the notable and turn our heads on the lowly, if we choose to stereotype this group and exalt another, if we find favor in what the world offers instead of what He has for us what are we really saying of ourselves, and of our God?

I had never thought much of there being fault in favoritism. In my mind I always perceived it as God gave us all preferences; he made none of us the same. That is exactly the difference. There are certain people I mesh with better and certain things I enjoy to do more than others. And again, don't get me wrong, you will have these things in your life, they are your preference. If God made us all the same it would be an even more messed up world. I think where the rubber meets the road is when we choose to show honor and respect more to one over the other. This is where the favoritism comes in. Yes, I looked up the word favoritism and preference and each could be used interchangeably as far as the dictionary goes but to me there is something bigger about the word "favorite" that sets off judgement in my mind. Ok, call me crazy! I don't have any research on that or any Hebrew doctrine. I am just going on a how the words make me reason in my mind. Our actions will show proof of favoritism.  Truly the only One that should hold favor to us is Him.

So remember, when you see that one that may not be of the same social group, the same race, or the same background, don't turn from them and show your favor upon the ones that you find notable. Judging a book by it's cover is never a good thing. They deserve your honor and respect just as much as your BFF or the richest man in the world. Esteem them by offering your best and not your leftovers. The same goes with our Lord and Savior. He knows we have agendas each day but He also knows what is the most important...it is Him! Find favor only in Him!!

Encouraging you today that my desire for us all is to be Off The Hook for Jesus! ;-)