Love Letters

This is a love letter from our little May May.  She gave it to me the other night and I just keep reading it over and over.

Translation...May May loves my mom.  May May loves my sister.  May May loves my daddy.  May May loves my brothers.  May May loves everybody.

The pains of Foster Care can often times be more than overbearing...mounds upon mounds of paper work, rules that send your mind to the looney bin and your stress level out the window, training hours, visits of all kinds, adjustments to your family's ways and rules, bonding, attachment, learning family dynamics, what a family is and looks like, love, discipline, trust, and the list goes on and on!

I will not sugar coat any part of foster care and say that it is the perfect little package of yummy.  It is relentlessly hard.  Rewarding but hard.  Loving and not knowing what the future holds is a place of faith we never thought we would be.  But it isn't about us!!  And after a day like today, I have to remind myself again, it isn't about us!!  It's about a child of God that needs more.  As we sacrifice each day I am reminded of the Lord's sacrifice for me.  I'm reminded of His great patience with me as my patience has truly been tested over and over.  I'm reminded that no matter my actions or path, He never stops pursuing me or loving me.  And as we care for our little May we too never want to stop pursuing her and loving her no matter her actions or path. Y'all that's hard stuff....and we just can not do this without the Lord.

One hard place we are working through is learning it's okay to love, its okay to love more than one person.  We can love all of our family. We can even love and it will love you back.  Most of us don't get that statement...but try explaining to a five year old that has been removed it is okay to love everyone in her family with out reservation.  I would say most of our children were born into our families and it was automatic...they loved, you loved, everyone loved. You didn't have to explain love to them, they loved because they knew you were there for them from the start and you weren't going anywhere.  Your actions proved it immediately in their lives. You didn't have to explain to them that they had room to love their siblings, even after the sometimes initial jealousy of a new one, they still knew they could love everyone in their family and it was okay.  Somewhere along the way May's trust has been broken and her love is reserved.  It breaks my heart for her.  I share this with you all because there are so many that do not have the family they crave and need. And because of that lack of, the trauma they have encountered, their behaviors are haywire in school and beyond and havoc is wreaked in their lives due to it all. My heart rejoices yet aches when I read this over and over and I realize that even on the days I want to pull out my hair, our sweet girl IS learning.  She IS seeing.  She IS getting a taste of what HIS love is all about.

Pray for her.  Pray for other children out there that have been removed from their families.  A hole so huge has been gouged out of their hearts. And pray these children will see the Love Letters the Lord writes to them, through Foster families, through His Word, and others that come across their path.   Only HE heals!  But we can definitely be the hands and feet of the One that loves!!

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (‭Psalm‬ ‭147‬:‭3‬ NIV)

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever. (‭Psalm‬ ‭136‬:‭1‬ NIV)

He is fighting for me!

Life is just passing all to quickly! It's full of business. Sometimes I believe it's just due to the season of life I am in and other times I know I have taken on too much. Monday morning I was feeling the aches of a busy homecoming week for four kids, a 20 yr reunion, a church fall fest (in which for some dumb reason I thought I had time to make a Halloween costume at the last minute). It was a Monday for sure that I rushed out the door to drop off all the kids and stop in the sonic parking lot to gather thoughts and put my makeup on before I had to pick up Mack, get him to the orthodontist and back to school. Then back to town to get groceries and back home to unload then to run back to town with my husband for more errands.

At WalMart I made the comment to the cashier that it was definitely a Monday. She responded by telling me it was Monday but a great day to spend time in the Word. She said if things didn't get done it was ok as long as she got to spend time with the Lord! I felt about as big as an ant! Who expects to go to WalMart and be blessed by the cashier?!? That just doesn't happen. I was convicted!  We talked about what devotion we were doing and I had to admit Monday morning I had not cracked my Bible. :(

This past Sunday I opened my Bible in church and saw a name written by a verse. That person had shared that verse with me years ago. What was significant was I had my class reunion the night before and saw this life long friend. I quickly snapped a pic and sent it to her and thanked her for her influence in my life. She sent me back a verse from Exodus.

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.

I told her how cool it was that in my Bible Study Fellowship we were actually studying Moses and working our way through Exodus. Tuesday morning when I sat to have time with the Lord....you guessed it....I read that verse in my study. Call it as you wish, but I say God wants me to hear from Him!! He is intimate and desires to meet me where I am. My friend had no idea I was going through that study nor did she know I was in that exact book and chapter. She lives a few hundred miles away and we don't get to talk often. It was a verse God had laid on her heart and she felt led to share it with me. She felt it applied to the journey I was on. And boy does it ever!!


Do you wonder sometimes if He sees?!? If He hears?!? If He knows?!? While my physical body just couldn't take any more the Lord was/is fighting for me!!  I love how God works!  I love how He meets us right where we are!  I love that He knows what we need for that particular day to encourage us on!  Many times we are so consumed with our circumstances that we miss out on what He has.  But I also love that my God is patient, and even when we may not make time for Him, He will find a way to reach out to us.

Thank you Lord for not ever giving up on me!  Thank you Lord for meeting me where I am!  Thank you for encouraging me on!  And Lord, thank you for fighting for me!  Help me Lord to be still and listen to you!!