God has been teaching me through the struggles of my preteen just how sinful I am. Man, that stinks! I always thought that it was my job to teach my child not for them to teach me! A typical day is for God to show me just one more sin that needs to be removed from my life. So thankful He is molding me!
I am learning so much on how my reaction or response to a problem or life in general affects the learning of my children. So, last night after a fish fry dinner we went to the Yogurt Bar to celebrate our dear friend Ryker graduating from college. Our goal was to spend some quality time with him chatting it up. He has been an amazing example and friend to my kids. We all filled up our bowls while I kept reminding the boys they would be eating every bite of what was put in that bowl and to not get so much that they couldn't eat it. We sat down to enjoy some chat time and of course here is where the drama began. My middle child, oldest, and myself all crammed in on one side of the table. Seating was tight and the kids were not happy they had to sit so close. We are to the point that my preteen is thinking she is a little too cool to sit by her pesky brother. And yes, he pestered her by putting his legs as far apart as he could to make less room. It quickly turned to a lil push, a lil shove, and a lil punch, and a lil grab! OMGoodness I think my children have lost their minds and their love some days. Fight, Fight, Fight, were the words I thought I heard people yelling!! (just kidding not really, but it sure felt like all eyes were on us) Here comes "Mom Referee" to the rescue in the middle of Yogurt bar! A stern word ended the brawl but the attitudes had now settled in.
This morning doing our "God time" I was talking to them of their behavior and pointed out that our responses to others are important and that our love is shown through those responses. I told them that even though sometimes someone makes us angry or we really want to retaliate because of their meanness that doesn't make it right. Putting others before ourselves is key. My lovely preteen says, "well you would have responded the same way mom, if he would have done that to you!" Yikes!! I denied that completely but when they all got out of the car the Lord spoke to my heart and said "they have learned those responses from you, Kim." Maybe not the pushing and shoving part, I think I have out grown that, but I think I still inhabit the "I want my way attitude."
My mind goes back to My Savior and all the ridicule, the beatings, the burdens of others, the gruesome road to Calvary that he endured!! YET...HE..DID..NOT...retaliate!!!! He kept his cool, He didn't try to defend His point of view, His didn't proclaim the people were wrong over and over to make Himself right, He didn't push or shove, or punch, or say a harsh word!! He didn't run the other way because this was not what he wanted! He put all of us before that!! Before Himself!! Why oh why is it so difficult for us to not see that His example of love is perfect and blameless. Why can we not love as He loves??
"Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in darkness; he does not know where he is going , because the darkness has blinded him." 1 John 2:9-11
God I pray for the blinders to fall from my eyes, for my response to others to be in love, for 'my way' to not be important any longer, for you to be glorified and honored by the way that I respond, for your name to be lifted high. Oh God that others may see You in the way that I love them.
Be encouraged today that though we all make a mess of life sometimes, He forgives, He still loves, and He is still ready to walk with us. Loving someone else without having to be right, without saying a harsh word when they have hurt us, without wanting our way, is not an easy task. But if we are walking in His light we will be victorious! Praying today that we will not hate but LOVE!!
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